When overwhelm > joy
My mom, my 2 daughters and I are moving this week, and at the time of writing, the movers are coming in 3 days and the house may or may not be fully packed. I’ll let you guess which one it is ; )
Yesterday, the overwhelm really started to strike me; the knot in my heart, the unrealistic urgency in my mind, the more pointed tone in my voice, the sub-zero level of patience for really anything that got in the way of what I set my mind to, constantly trying to do 50 things at once, not progressing on any of them significantly and ultimately causing myself even more overwhelm.
I am SO TIRED OF LETTING OVERWHELM STEAL MY JOY!
(Raise your fist if you’re with me on this!)
Let’s start with WHY it is so easy for overwhelm to steal our joy. Humans will always gravitate towards the easiest path, this is a subconscious drive that roots all the way back to caveman/woman days when we had to conserve our energy in order to survive. We are constantly assessing if something is worth our time, if it is a threat, and what is the quickest way to get through it. Throw in a dash of crazy, unpredictable COVID times with a side of being compelled to put others first, a sprinkle of kids running around and workplace stress topped off with NOTHING feeling certain, it is NO WONDER we feel under constant pressure and are working out of that mindset that we have to complete what we can control RIGHT NOW because we don’t know what else may happen!
So now that we have some basic insight as to the WHY this joy-stealing happens, let’s get into some fun-size tips as to how to STOP this overwhelm in its tracks and restore some healthy control and JOY back into our lives (I’m especially in love with 1, 2, 3 and 8!).
👉 Acknowledge that you feel overwhelmed.
Get used to turning that overwhelmed feeling into a cue to get curious. Just pause and be like “I am super overwhelmed (feel free to add an F word in there if you find it helpful)”.
👉 Find tiny things to be grateful for.
Nothing diffuses overwhelm like focusing on the positive that surrounds you no matter how small.
You woke up and are alive.
Your kid/dog didn’t poop on the floor.
You kid was actually focused on zoom for longer than 5 minutes.
You showered today.
You saved water by not changing your clothes today.
You get the idea! Spend 3 minutes thinking of tiny positives or even write them down to bring your brain back to calm.
👉 Breath deeply and with intention.
When we get into a state of stress and overwhelm, our sympathetic nervous system kicks in (aka fight, flight, freeze) which directs the majority of the blood flow to the part of our brain that is focused on survival and NOT logical, calm thought. By breathing deeply and with intention, our parasympathetic nervous system (aka rest, digest, relax) will kick in, letting us know all is safe and then moves us back into those yummy, logical, calm thought patterns.
The breath pattern that works best for each person varies, but a great place to start is doubling the length of your exhale versus your inhale (ex. inhale through nose for 4, exhale through nose or mouth for 8). I also find repeating “everything is ok” or “chill the f out” over and over is helpful 😉
👉 Remind yourself that self-care is the LEAST selfish thing you can do.
Seriously, I can’t say this enough. When we let our “buckets” go empty and then POKE HOLES IN IT by convincing ourselves that we’re too busy to eat, sleep, take that yoga class, go potty, etc, it becomes SO EASY to fall into that trap of extreme overwhelm because our bodies, souls and minds are NOT supported in any way making that overwhelm thought pattern so much easier to slip into.
This is a *journey*, so even if you start with one little thing, like, going the bathroom when you first have to go (is this just me?), celebrate that. Another great one, eat when you first find yourself getting hungry (this will help avoid random, unnecessary snacking and quick, less nourishing decisions too!) and celebrate afterwards for prioritizing yourself!
👉 Avoid significant amounts of caffeine
Ya, i’m an a-hole for suggesting this I know. HOW DO WE DO ALL THE THINGS WITHOUT CAFFEINE? ARE YOU CRAZY WOMAN!? First, I didn’t say *ALL* caffeine, just significant amounts (and that is defined by your own body). Some of you are blessed where caffeine doesn’t really mess with you. Some of us are not. I know that for as much as I love coffee, if I have ALOT of things to do, drinking more than a cup of coffee will send me into an anxious, unproductive frenzy.
If things feel more urgent in a non-productive way after consuming caffeine, get curious about how much of it you are drinking as well as the source to see if you can find a combo that works best for you!
👉 Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate
Yes, you will have to pee more, but keeping your body (and therefore, BRAIN) hydrated will help keep the overwhelm at bay. Aim for half your body weight in ounces per day (ex. if you weigh 200 pounds, aim for 100 ounces per day).
If you’re tired of drinking water, infusing it with lemon, fruit, cucumbers, or herbs can all be a way to spice things up!
👉 Prioritize sleep
Yup, I GET IT, trust me. You want to check off ONEMOREBOX before bed, but more than likely, you try to check off more than one, suddenly it’s 2a, you’re exhausted and already set on drinking an entire pot of coffee in the AM to get you going.
HEAR THIS, in very few occasions will the world *actually* end if you do not check that last box before bed. So knowing that logically, everything will be ok if you don’t, get your sleep because I promise you will be more productive the next day and a task that may take you 1 hour to do at 1a will *probably* only take you about 15 minutes at 10a after a great night of rest.
👉If you’re not making progress, go dance it out
This happens to me alot. I have my things I need to do and get my heart set on accomplishing one of them first. Except...it isn’t flowing. It feels EXTRA HARD and I sit there staring at my screen knowing I need to finish this task, but it isn’t happening and then that overwhelming feeling starts to creep in.
If this is something you can relate to, try this out! If you’re finding a task taking longer than it should, or you’re getting easily distracted because you aren’t feeling it, reprioritize where it falls in the day and come back to it. Work on something that you know you can knock out and feel successful in, take a 5-10 minute walk or, my fave, take a dance break to your fave hype song. Don’t forget to come back to that original task though, remember, you can do HARD THINGS, but don’t make them harder to do by trying to power through them.
LET’S TELL OVERWHELM TO TAKE A HIKE TODAY!
If you have a favorite tip you’d like to share, shoot me a message, I’d love to hear what else is working for ya’ll!
Lindsey is an encourager, optimist, health + life coach, and yoga teacher who helps caregivers live fuller, healthier, vibrant lives through exploring all aspects of their life and health while helping to cultivate simple, sustainable fun-size habits, so that they can continue to make a meaningful impact in themselves, their loved ones, and the world, for generations to come.
