Just ONE more thing
My oldest daughter Presley (7), is the QUEEN of asking for ONE MORE THING. Usually, it is at bedtime where our routine lengthens to include at least 12 SUPER BIG MEGA hugs, 12 kisses, 8 butterfly kisses and just last week, we’ve added in a few Eskimo kisses for good measure.
Sometimes, these asks drive me BSC* because usually by this time, I am ready for bed myself. Then, the angel mommy that sits on my shoulder (do you have one of these? The one that keeps scary mommy at bay *most* days?) says “one day, she won’t want you to put her to bed”, which causes me to take a deep breath, get present and be grateful that I have a child that loves me.
My ex-ex’s (yes friends, I’ve been married twice, but that is a story for another day 🤣) Sicilian grandmother shared something with me over coffee and italian cookies about 16ish years ago, after I shared some frustrations with her about a co-worker and it has always stuck with me when I encounter someone doing something I don’t like.
Often times what you don’t like about others is actually what you don’t like about yourself.
WHAAAAAAT? My typical knee-jerk reaction is that THERE IS NO WAY I AM EVEN REMOTELY LIKE WHOEVER I JUST HAD A STRONG YUCK REACTION TO. However, once that reaction subsides, and I give myself the space to be curious about why I’m feeling that way...I often find more similarities than I thought I would 😬. This realization often sucks a bit because who wants to identify with someone who is being a total DB? (What?! You didn’t raise your hand enthusiastically?! Me neither!)
This is also a VERY powerful way to connect to people that we feel challenged by in some way. In seeking out the similarities instead of differences, we are reminded that we are ALL humans trying to do the best we can with what we were given and the beliefs that we have. We don’t have to agree with them or the way they are going about things, but there is undeniable power in saying, for example, “Just like me, that person is also very passionate about what they believe in”.
Well, the realization I had when getting curious around why my daughter’s need for ONE MORE HUG drives me crazy at times, actually brought me to tears because…
I DO THE SAME. EXACT. THING.
Not necessarily in the hugs and kisses way (although, i’d bet my boyfriend would tell you differently 🤣), but in the I-CANT-SEEM-TO-JUST-BE-HAPPY-WITH-WHAT-I-HAVE-IN-THE-MOMENT way. I’m always questioning if it is “ok” to just be still or feeling like I-NEED-TO-DO-THIS-ONE-MORE-THING then I’ll be satisfied, instead of just leaning into the FACT that I am doing and have everything I possibly could ever need, because God gave it to me and I should explore being GRATEFUL for whatever blessing or challenge is in front of me instead of being anxious and worried.
As I’m writing this, some wise words from a previous post popped into my head where I talked about how life is not about the quantity of things we accomplish, but the quality of the time we spend. So, I sat down with myself, and thought about how can I increase the QUALITY of time and decrease the quantity of things I try to accomplish during the 1,440 minutes I have EVERY DAY while God continues to bless me with the ability of walking on this earth? The answer was simple…
Be unapologetically present.
Be unapologetically grateful.
Be unapologetically yourself.
Did that make your heart flutter a bit? Perhaps with hope or maybe even a touch of trepidation or both? Me too. It almost seems *too* simple, or maybe it feels *too* complicated. There is no wrong answer, but I can tell you that the right answer is that in moving towards being unapologetic in these three areas, your life will not only be healthier in SO many ways, but it will also give you the strength and space to allow for you to be all the things you aspire to be and were put on this earth to fulfill.
The reason why my daughter’s bedtime needs drive me crazy is that I’m not being present in the moment, I’m thinking about the 30 NEXT things I need to cram into the day before I go to bed.
The reason why I always feel like I can’t just sit still is that I’m worried that I’m not doing enough and will fail INSTEAD OF focusing on all that I actually do and have.
The reason I struggle with setting boundaries at times is that I don’t want someone else’s feelings to be hurt or for them to be inconvenienced instead of honoring my own needs.
So last night, I sat down with Presley and talked about how while it is normal to want ONE MORE THING, when we get caught up in that, we often miss all the things to be grateful for that are right in front of us. Together, we decided that being really present and sharing ONE really super big mega hug, ONE kiss, ONE butterfly kiss and ONE Eskimo kiss is better than rushing through a bunch of hugs and kisses just to get them done.
OK, JUST ONE MORE THING 😉There are days you won’t want to get out of bed, there will be days where someone does something you don’t like and you refuse to think about how you’re similar because it hurt so badly. There are days where you will be your own biggest cheerleader and are BEYOND amazed at yourself. All the days in all the ways are welcome. I just want to encourage you to experiment with allowing little pieces of presence, gratitude and just being you, begin to crowd out anxiety, worry and fear no matter what way the day goes. Your life, your purpose, your aspirations, aka YOU, are worth you showing up for and getting curious about, unapologetically.
Let me know how this idea of something you don’t like about someone else may be something you don’t like about yourself! Also, do you know what *BSC stands for? Shoot me a message 😊
Lindsey is an encourager, optimist, health + life coach, and yoga teacher who helps caregivers live fuller, healthier, vibrant lives through exploring all aspects of their life and health while helping to cultivate simple, sustainable fun-size habits, so that they can continue to make a meaningful impact in themselves, their loved ones, and the world, for generations to come.
